Every day I look around me and find inspiration from stories about ordinary people who happen to live extraordinary lives. Sometimes when I am out and about, I look at strangers and wonder what special story are they hiding? It’s always intrigued me what lies beneath the masks that we all wear when in public. Today is the first of what I hope will be of many inspirational interviews that I hope you and others will enjoy. This interview is about one of those ordinary people I spoke about earlier, who you might have passed in the street without even noticing. But in my opinion this person is an amazing young woman, who has spent the past eighteen months battling breast cancer. In this candid and at times heart-breaking testimonial, she bares her soul and her heart to us.
I have to admit that it has been a difficult piece for me to write and at times I have sat at my laptop with tears running down my cheeks, because the wonderful lady who shares her story is my much-loved sister-in-law, Leah Harrington.
Leah really wanted to share her story, because she really hopes that her words will somehow help someone else who perhaps find themselves in her shoes. I believe they will. For those that know me, you have heard me talk about Leah a lot and I think that after reading her story here, you will understand why it is that our family simply adore her and are very proud of everything she has achieved in this first chapter of her life.
I know that this piece is longer than normal, but the content is just so powerful. I simply could not edit it and leave any of Leah’s words out. Leah had a lot she wanted to share. So I ask you to take 15 minutes and put on the kettle or grab a glass of whatever poison you fancy and sit down and read Leah’s story.

First of all it’s important that you know a little bit about Leah before she was diagnosed with cancer. So I asked her to tell me about what life was like for her before then. Here’s what she had to say.

“Life before cancer, gosh that sounds like a distant memory now. I was like any normal 38 (and a bit) year old working away in a job that I loved, I had just bought a house, about a year and a half before I think. (Sorry, chemo brain isn’t a myth, I still have a bit of it, well that’s my excuse!) I was very proud of myself as it had taken me over 10 years to save and buy it. This was a milestone in life that I was so very proud to have finally achieved. I had also split up with my fiancé in April 2011 after 3 years together. Now in reflection, God that was a lucky escape! Before I was diagnosed I was really excited as we were planning a long girly week-end away to Spain in August, I couldn’t wait as it had been ages since I’d been away. I loved going out with my friends, shopping, meals out, seeing my family, my fab nieces and nephew, all the normal stuff you know.”

The HSE work hard to make sure that every person knows the symptoms and signs of breast cancer, and any time an abnormality is discovered, it should be investigated by a healthcare professional. Here Leah describes when she first suspected there might be an issue.

“I didn’t suspect a thing, I didn’t feel unwell, in fact I had a really wicked week-end down in Wexford with my family at a benefit gig, just before I was diagnosed. The only symptoms I had been the lump I found in my left breast when doing my monthly checks. But I wasn’t too concerned as I was due my period and often you get lumps due to hormone imbalances. My period came and went, the lump was still there but it wasn’t painful or sore. I went to my G.P. she examined me, thought it was a cyst but referred me to the breast clinic in Beaumont hospital.”

This is where I believe that Leah has a guardian angel looking after her. That might sound strange as Leah has had some pretty bad luck these past couple of years. However I do think something or someone was looking after Leah because she found out from the Prof that it was really a twist of fate that saved her life.

“Prof H words will always ring in my head and still do to this day. ‘You are extremely lucky Leah that you found that cyst, otherwise you would have never felt the tumours. They were so deep and big in my right breast NOT the left breast which I originally came in with. He told me even with my monthly checks I would never have found it. The cancer wasn’t even there a year maybe 6 months or so but no more. It’s scary when you think of it, god what if I didn’t get the cyst? How far would it have spread as it was in my breast already and two weeks later I was positive for cancer in my lymph nodes. So it was spreading alright. Early detection is hugely important along with self-checking”.

For full details on how to be breast aware and learn how to self-check every day while in the shower, please go to http://www.cancer.ie/cancer-information/breast-cancer

 

I think it is fair to say that if anyone of us hears the word Cancer whispered, no matter what age we are, it invokes a powerful emotional response within us. Because unless you have been very lucky, cancer has cast a shadow over all of our lives in varying degrees, whether it’s from personal experience, or watching a loved one go through it.
The statistics are sobering.

One in three people in Ireland will develop cancer during their lifetime. (www.ncri.ie)

 

It’s frightening isn’t it, when you see statistics as bleak as that. However, right now, apart from Leah, I know of 6 other family members of close friends, who have cancer. So that adds credence to the stark statistics. I asked Leah to describe what it felt like to receive her cancer diagnosis.

“Which time? You see I’ve been diagnosed twice you know with cancer, lucky me eh! Sorry humour is my mask; it’s just how I’ve gotten through this huge horrendous ordeal, as well as my positive outlook and attitude I suppose.Well I kind of had a gut feeling that my results weren’t going to be good to be honest, I never really said that to anyone at the time, well maybe to one or two people, in case they thought I was being dramatic, a drama queen or thinking the worst but honestly deep down I was trying to protect them for the ugly truth that was going to hit us soon enough. You see my first visit to the breast check clinic I was in the hospital for over 6 hours getting tests, from 8.15am till 3pm. I met my Professor and had a chat, an examination and was sent for a mammogram. I had the first mammogram done, then after what seemed like forever was told I needed a second one, as they needed to see a particular area that had clarifications on it. Ok I thought, don’t panic as this was my first time ever to get one so wasn’t 100% what was/wasn’t normal.
While in the waiting room it was the older women sitting waiting that got me, ‘the regulars’ as I called them in my head, all chatting to each other and they all had the same look on their faces, fear of the unknown, a nervousness about them. They all gave me the same look when I said I was waiting on second mammogram.
So as I am getting my second mammogram done the machine breaks down! I had a cyst removed by needle aspiration, ultra sound done and that machine broke down too. I had 4 biopsies taken by needle aspiration and had stitches put in but had to come back next day for more biopsies to be taken this time in my left breast. Next day I had needle biopsy (core biopsy) this is where my breast was clamped into the machine, they use a slightly larger needle and take a sample of tissue (biopsy) from the breast lump after the area has been numbed with local anaesthetic and you can tell the doctor if you feel any pain and they will numb it more. This test takes about 10 minutes or maybe more and a small dressing is put over the area. I must say doctors and nurses were lovely to me and kept me chatting so took my mind of it. Plus you had to sit completely still too. Eventually I am answering your question, but I think the background to this answer in particular is just as important as the question, as often women of my age don’t know what to expect as we normally don’t go for mammograms. How many would you know? So I believe it’s important. So when I was told I gasped, I went numb, thought shit Harrington you were right. I heard a scream/cry from my sister and said to myself ‘ pull yourself together Harrington, come on, we need to know what’s going on and how we’re going to fight this?’
I remember turning to my sister asking if she was ok and then turning to Prof, he said ‘you had an idea didn’t you Leah’? I said ‘yes I did know.’ And we just both nodded at each other. Modern technology is a wonderful thing as I was shown my tumours in all their glory on the computer screen, I was told of my treatment plan, a mastectomy.
A mastectomy I repeated back like a parrot, yes a mastectomy he said, (I was completely shocked) a mastectomy I repeated again as in having your breast removed mastectomy? Yes Leah a mastectomy as in having your whole breast removed. Oh then the silent scream(s) in my head, trying to hold back the tears, trying to get air into my lungs so I can breathe, I felt like I was losing all grips with reality for that one small moment in time, that one small moment in time that you know will change everything forever, change my life as I knew it and my families too. And breathe. Then my prof drew me a diagram of where the tumours were positioned. The breast specialist nurse took us off for a chat and we were given a book called ‘Cancer of the Breast’ my new little bible for the next while as it explained things to you and what was going to happen. Actually I ended up getting one for everyone you in the family doing a Tubs on it! It was quite surreal getting my sick certificate for work, now Leah what do you want me to put on it? My breast specialist nurse asked me. She said, you don’t have to put breast cancer on it, it’s up to you. I just said well that’s what I have so let’s put it down. It was the first time I saw the words written down. Leah Harrington = breast cancer. Second time I was told I had cancer was when I found out that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. I was in clinic (for a change :-)) having a review re getting my stitches and staples removed and Prof walked in full of chat, asking is Ev with you looking around the room. That’s my sister by the way who always comes to my appointments and chemo treatment too. I said no not today she’s at another hospital with her husband. Oh he said and then went onto tell me he had my results. The cancer had spread into my lymph nodes and I would need further tests and would have to have a full axillary clearance, it would be a day case. Feck I wasn’t prepared for that at all, as wasn’t expecting to be told that so soon and honestly I never thought of it spreading. Inside I just crumbled when I left the hospital I was extremely upset, as now I had stage 2 cancer. What the fuck had I done to deserve this?”

I think Leah’s response pretty much summed up how we all,her family, felt throughout this dance Leah has done with cancer. For all of us in the Harrington family have felt the vicelike grip that Cancer has held on our lives for years now. I remember the day like it was yesterday that Leah got her results. Roger (my husband) and I drove to Dublin to be with Leah. I was nearly 8 months pregnant and waited in the car as Ev and Leah went into see the Prof for the results. I can still remember details like the heat in the car and the rising panic as time went on and there was no sign of them returning. Making up scenarios in my head, thinking at first its good news that they are so long, then deciding no, it’s bad. Answering phone call after phone call from Rog who had to go to a meeting but was on his way back hearing the fear in his voice for his little sister. Eventually they arrived at the car and I knew from the glance that they exchanged the news was not good. I can remember driving around the corner and stopping the car, we did not make it as far as Clontarf Castle. So Leah broke the news to us and both she and Ev did their best to be brave, because they were worried about me. That’s the kind of people my sisters in law are. I’m very lucky. But we We cried and hugged in my car and then dried our tears as Rog was on his way to meet us. Leah remembers here what it was like breaking the news to family and friends.

“Oh Carmel that day was just awful as you know. It was one of the worst things ever to be honest. Actually it’s a moment in my life that I will never ever forget, it’s burned into my brain forever. Ev and I were in shock, you were what 7 months pregnant at the time, waiting for us outside in the car. Jesus I was thinking to myself I don’t want to send you into early labour, did we tell you then or when we got to Clontarf Castle to meet Rog? So we drove from Beaumont hospital to Clontarf castle where we all met up. My brother Rog arrived, I will always remember the look on his face, then some friends came and I rang other friends too. It was really so heart breaking but we did have a laugh or two. It’s comical when you look back at it, we were laughing, joking, and then very serious talk going on and then laughter again, it was just surreal in a way. Telling my parents was very hard, upsetting, as they didn’t know anything about what was going on before. I didn’t want to worry them. My Dad had cancer you see and was getting treatment too. My Mum thought we were in town shopping so when I said I had some news and wanted to talk to them about it, my Mum thought I had seen something wow in town and wanted a loan to pay for it, so she told me afterwards. They both started to cry and my Dad put his head in his hands and started rocking as he knew what was ahead of me treatment wise. Before my operation though, a gang of my friends went out for a meal, few drinks and a laugh. It was just what the doctor ordered and it was the last time for a long time before I could do it again and suppose laugh in the way I did. I would totally advise anybody in my position to do that.”

Our family have watched Leah go through so much and we have learned that cancer is not just a physical thing, it gets into your head too and emotionally it is so difficult to deal with. Here Leah talks with such honesty that has left me in tears unable to continue writing.

“It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and it still is to be honest Carmel. In my eyes breast cancer attacks every part of your female side. You see first you lose your breast, then hair, eyebrows, eyelashes. No actually I am wrong. What you lose first is the chance of ever being a mother if you are not already one. That’s so very hard to deal with at times, my heart is breaking really as that always was my dream. I wasn’t able to freeze my eggs as was told it’s not very successful in Ireland plus they wanted me to start chemotherapy ASAP. Also there are the financial worries as my work sick pay is finished. I am on illness benefit as I am not back to work and never in a million years did I ever think I would be out of work for so long. So I have my mortgage, bills, medical expenses, but I am so very lucky as my family really help me out and go to meetings for me as I just wouldn’t have the head space for it to be honest. Ev, my sister, is my power of attorney which is a great sense of relief. Then there’s the worry of will I be able to return to work? I have been working in the disability sector since I was 19 and have all my qualifications in the social care area. I mean all these things do go through your mind over and over again. I suppose on the flip side everyone knows everything about you, what’s going, what’s happening, what your situation is, both health wise and now financially too. For most people out there, you do have some level of privacy within your family which is only normal, it’s between you and your husband/partner but thanks to BC I don’t have that luxury anymore. That’s just hard sometimes going from been independent to not so in some ways.”

Leah describes some key moments that were particularly difficult for her over the course of her illness.

“After my first round of chemotherapy it was Ev’s birthday the following week. Strands of my hair were starting to fall out but not too much. So there I was having a shower and my hair matted up with knots, God it was like a scene from the film Psycho. I was half expecting Norman Bates to join me! I must have used a bottle of spray in conditioner in my hair and managed to brush them out, but I lost over half my hair that night, I filled a large freezer size bag with it, my head was thumping with pain afterwards but I was lucky I still had my fringe with a pig’s tail at the back!! Only for the fact it was Ev’s birthday I wouldn’t have gone out but I did and oh boy did I have a couple of large glasses that night. Body image plays a huge role in my lowest moments: seeing an empty part on your body where your breast used to be, seeing all the scars, catching yourself in the mirror or TV reflection and hardly recognising the person staring back at you, that bald person with no eyebrows or lashes. That was so extremely difficult as I was not ME anymore for that period of time. I often just broke down and cried and cried for the loss of who I once was. It was almost as if I was grieving for the old me. I was also grieving for the loss of my fertility, a family that I will never now know. I’ll never ever be able to ‘fully’ join in the conversations with my sister, brother and sister-in-law when they are talking about their children or cousins. Doesn’t X look like me or do you think more like Y? Now please don’t get me wrong I absolutely love and adore my family and all these conversations we have and I do join in. But I suppose it’s only normal for me after the event to feel or think like that but it’s a pipe dream that I will never be able to full fill. But yes indeed miracles do happen. Finding out the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes as I mentioned before was just plain awful, the pits really. My Dad passed away from cancer while I was in the middle of my treatment. He died on a Tuesday at 12.45 and guess where I was sitting that following Tuesday? Yes upstairs getting my chemotherapy. Nurses were in tears when they saw Ev and me coming along the corridor to the same place where Dad used to get his chemo. We were also up there on the Monday as had to get Pre bloods done. That was such a low horrible moment for us those two days. Normally you go up and say thanks to all the doctors and nurses and never see them again after a patient dies, but in our case it was different. And If I hear the word POSITIVE again it will never be a day too soon! I am a positive person but even normal people can’t be positive 24/7!
There was also a time I went to a locum doctor as I wasn’t well and she started going on about that people should be eating roots from the ground and that our bodies weren’t made for all this processed foods (which I don’t eat very much of) and to wear baggy flowing trousers to let the air in Jesus Lord above I actually thought I must have passed out and was dreaming but no unfortunately I wasn’t!”

Sometimes despite our best intentions people say the wrong thing and Leah shares just some of those times with us!

“People often just say practical things or just say things in your best interests or who knows. Once I was at my doctor, a different one this time. He asks, do you have children? No I don’t, How come you did not want children? The Doctor asked. Yes I did want them, very much so, I replied. The Doctor continues, But how come you don’t have children, was there a medical problem? So I said, ‘Yes I didn’t know I was going to get breast cancer, so I didn’t know my time had run out not to mention that I have absolutely bad taste with choices in my previous boyfriends! It just wasn’t a runner if you get me and boy did I pick them! Another doctor said to my Mum one day, and I know he meant it in a nice way, but it really did upset me. He asked does your daughter have children. No Mum said. He replied, well she is lucky. Good God almighty I know he was coming from a place of good but it just broke my already fragile heart if I am honest.”

So is Leah angry with everything she has had to deal with? No not really, although she does want a few more hunky doctors on her medical team. Not too much to ask for I reckon. Mind you she’s not mentioning the cute radiographer that she met only a few weeks ago. Ev and I saw the way she looked at him! You can’t hide anything from us Leah!

“Sounds mental no I am not angry. I think destiny will always find you no matter what so I think in a way cancer was my challenge in life not that what I wanted or needed a challenge mark you!! The one thing I am angry about is that cancer and treatment took away my chance to have children that really hits me hard I must admit. But then treatment has saved my life so I am so truly grateful for that every day. On the bright side of this I am going to look into adoption in the near future. Oh and come on! ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Holby why so many good-looking doctors in them as in reality it sucks! Ha ha, except for one or two.”

Yes, that cute Radiographer! But with everything in life, while there are terrible moments, conversely someone shows us a kindness just when we need it most and it’s those kindnesses that sustain us. Leah shares some memories of moments that made her smile when she needed it most and happiness at milestones that she has reached.

“My hair growing back oh and going to the hairdressers for the first time and yes having bad hair day’s, bloody brilliant! My eyebrows growing back and the pain of getting them threaded was wonderful, I felt like my abnormal self again, oh putting mascara on again. It’s the little things Carmel it really is. Being able to mess around with my nieces and nephews that is just wonderful, their old auntie is back again. Oh having a cup of coffee without having that awful metal taste in my mouth. I laugh now as I should have eaten all the crap foods that are bad for me as often you don’t eat the same foods anymore as the metallic taste just ruins everything. I would have been a supermodel by now ha ha! Then there was the time a doctor excitedly ran up the corridor shouting, people stopped and stared as we didn’t know what was going on. The doctor gave me a big hug saying she missed seeing me in the day oncology ward and my smiling face. Her just asking me how I was doing was just sweet, knowing that I was more than just a number to some people”.

I was curious as to how Leah saw herself now, post cancer and what lessons she has learned from it all that she will take with her moving on. This is what she had to say.

“Gordon Bennett Carmel now that’s a difficult one to answer I must say, what do you think Carmel? How do you see me post cancer? Ok I try to not sweat the small stuff I must say but then again I often do! I am still out on sick leave and don’t know when I will be back to work. I worry about that and financial problems. I don’t want to be a burden on my family either if I’m honest. Then I count myself as extremely lucky to be honest that I found out early detection is key, imagine if I didn’t it would be a very different story. I have just turned 40 so I am hoping there are a lot of good happy times ahead of me! I’m still attending hospital appointments and there’s still more to come.But I don’t take crap in my life anymore, I’m way more emotional than before as I can’t hide my emotions and feelings like I used too so that’s hard for me as I usually try to put a front on. Often people wouldn’t know how much they upset me over certain things over the years as I could hide it but now I can’t. I often get extremely upset more easily but to a different extent which has often led to panic attacks and heart palpitations but they are getting better now. You learn who your friends are and who they aren’t oh boy you do. And my right arm and hand are like a foreign or different body part to my own one now ha ha. I’m stronger than I thought, I don’t take one day at a time, I take one minute at a time, as some days that’s all you can do. I’ve stop being so hard on myself, I’m allowed to have a bad day but then I snap out of it. I have to stop being sorry about being sick as you Carmel pointed out! I said to a friend of mine a while ago ‘god I didn’t think it would take so long to recover’ and she said ‘ sorry Leah I didn’t realise you were a breast cancer expert so how the hell could you know?’ Yes she was dead right of course! Adjusting to the changes that have happened in my life and coping with the physical and emotional effects regarding breast cancer can be at times extremely difficult as it does take time to try to get the balance back again in your life and I’m still trying to. I am going to start counselling in the next couple of months as I feel it’s the right time for me and also that I can cope with it. Plus my memory is getting a bit better at last. You see I have a diploma in counselling already so I often mirror counselled myself and it has been great the last while but now it’s time for the real professionals. There is also peer-to-peer support called Reach to Recovery run by the ICS where you meet up with people of your own age on a one to one basis who have been through the same as you and the same age so that’s something I may look into.”

I’ve often thought that it would be great if we could go back in time and warn ourselves about something awful that was coming our way. So I thought it would be fun to see what Leah had to say, if I gave her a trip in Dr Who’s tardis. Her answer, like all of them is so honest that again it touched me deeply. There’s a lot of wisdom in these answers!

“Wow that’s a really good question! Don’t buy all those new bras in the sale ha ha! Why on earth Leah did you waste your time with some losers in relationships that did you no good? I mean maybe, just maybe if I made different choices I could have been married with kids just maybe. I mean at the end of the day it’s nice to come home to a family or a partner, I see it with my sisters and brother. I don’t think you can ever prepare yourself or warn yourself about cancer but I would tap myself on the shoulder and say keep checking every month the 3 ways I always did – touch, visual and in shower, obviously be healthy, have a good diet and healthy weight as there is a lot of research been done on the connection between breast cancer and weight. I kind of think sometimes what will be will be though and nothing will ever prevent that.”

Leah shows her cheeky side when I ask her what she would say to Ireland’s Taoiseach,Mr Enda Kenny if she got the chance to have a cuppa with him!

“Good God have I died and gone to hell Carmel? Firstly where do you get you’re highlights done and what make up do you wear? Ha ha! Why hasn’t the age for screening/mammograms been lowered? Would you not think in this day and age when there is so much medical proof out there that young women are being detected with breast cancer due to early detection too, thanks to the efforts of Cancer societies and individuals themselves. This is surely an important factor for saving lives? I personally think the law should be changed on this. Enda, come along to a breast clinic with me and see the young women sitting there waiting to be told what their fate is. Also a lot of women don’t return to their appointments after their surgeries and treatments have finished which is a real shame. I can understand why but something should be put in place to make sure that they do return to all their appointments. How come support groups for young women have been cut? There’s no support group for young women like myself as we have different issues than older women who get breast cancer. I mean you’re not even told in the hospital if there are women of your own age going through the same thing. Could a monthly coffee morning not be introduced in hospitals? A social worker told a woman I met sure why don’t you set up one yourself? Well as she said, I am not an expert or I could give the wrong advice to someone. But this is something I’m thinking of looking into and helping to run. Maybe in Beaumont hospital, a coffee morning on the last Friday of every month for under 45 year olds just to meet and chat that’s all. Also why was that wonderful beauty class cut Enda? I mean it was a safe haven for women to take their wigs, hats, headscarves and sit there bald and feel comfortable as we are all in the same boat. Why did I have to wait 4 months to get my medial card approved why? And there are many others out there like me too.”

Now Enda, whenever you are ready, Leah and I would like answers to some valid and important questions. I have no doubt that Leah will go ahead and organise that support group for women like her. With her background in social care she would be perfect for it. Leah tells me that she finds strength in all sorts of places to help her get through the bad days.

“Children, especially sick children, Beaumont hospital has a children’s ward and not many people know that. They are only starting out on their young lives and some are so extremely sick but they always have a smile. So I look at myself over the half way line in life, LIFE yes I have lived a life so far and I am lucky that I’m still living it and some of those children may not be as lucky as I have been. Boy it could have been worse so they inspire me. My family inspires me as they have been through the mill with me and often we forget that, cancer has a ripple effect. It affects you the individual and also your family and those who are around you.”

Leah and I have had many chats late into the night when she spends her ‘holidays’ with Rog and I in Wexford and we often talk about what the future might hold for her. She shares her fears here and hopes and dreams.

“I have fear that cancer will raise its ugly head again. Will I met Mr Right who accepts me for who I am scars and all and if not jog on. It’s very funny but Ev and you Carmel keep saying you are going to form a panel I believe on any guy I meet and if you don’t like him then it’s a no go! But seriously if you are single like me, it is a daunting prospect starting a new relationship or even going on a first date. Ok if things are going well, when do you casually drop it into conversation, oh by the way I had breast cancer, mastectomy, had hip replacements, can’t have kids, exit left I think for any guy. And also which date would you bring it up on? Or you could meet someone with kids too. Now this is not something that’s burning a hole in my mind but it’s another reality of life for me another stepping stone so to say. I have two surgeries ahead of me reconstruction and reduction oh and a tummy tuck too as they more than likely take the muscle from my stomach to reconstruct my breast as my shoulders are already damaged. Wow new hips, new knees, tummy tuck and new breasts watch out world, here comes a new Leah! I would love to adopt a child, have a dog, the white picket fence with Wisteria growing up along it, have a lovely guy to help, love, support me. As sometimes I get tired of being the strong one and it would be nice to have that extra special somebody just to lean on. Now that’s a lovely dream to dream. I’m grabbing life with my two hands and to give back as I would like to try to help others who went or are going through the same as I did. Oh when I win the lotto big bucks as my aunt used to say, I am going to treat all my family to a trip of a lifetime! I came across this poem and I thought it was lovely, it struck a chord with me and really helped me on an extremely bad day

Never be ashamed of a scar.

It simply means

you were stronger

than whatever tried to hurt you”

 

Such a poignant poem and as you read the detail about the treatment and side effects that she had over the course of the past 18 months or so it will echo in your mind. I know it did mine. Leah has been really unfortunate because she has had several setbacks with some complications during her treatment. But as always she has dealt with every setback with the same determination that ultimately gets her through her ordeal.

“ My medical team in general were fantastic especially the day oncology ward where I got my chemo, the radiotherapy team, physiotherapy department and Prof’s team were great too but of course you always come across the few lemons and that I did!! So just be aware of that ok? Some experiences to this day still really bug and upset me especially the day I got my lumpy nodes removed. Treatments and operations I received were: Mammograms, Ultrasound scan, Needle aspiration, Needle biopsy, guided breast biopsy, Stereotactic breast biopsy (this is where they take a piece of the abnormal tissue seen from the mammogram or ultrasound). They also do what’s called ‘staging’ this is to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of the body – Bone scan, CT scan, Blood tests, Mastectomy, Sentinel lymph node biopsy.Tubes were stitched in my chest area so fluid/blood can come out and I had to empty it daily and record how much fluid passed through. I had pain, stiffness and sensations in the wound area with numbness or extra sensitivity. Weekly wound changes, and then stitches and staples removed. Lymph node removal, otherwise known as full axillary clearance 56 nodes were removed and in total 5 were cancerous. My Public Health Nurse also used to visit on a daily to change dressing and this was then reduced to 3 times a week.For my Breast prostheses I started off with a sponge type then moved onto silicone gel ones. I also had 3 monthly injections called Zoladex to help preserve my ovaries while getting chemo. I had Aggressive Chemotherapy for 6 months. As my Veins kept collapsing I ended up getting surgery to get Port -a- cath fitted (and of course removed later on, another lovely scar!). I saw my veins collapse while getting chemo especially with A/C it can damage your skin and veins then even causing more problems Planning CT scans and x-rays along with measurements for my radiotherapy and tiny permanent tattoo markers had to be held. This is so they can aim the rays into the same areas very day. Treatment planning is a very important part of radiotherapy and can often take a couple of visits. Then I was also told how to take care of my skin during & after the treatment.I had to get more planning X-rays and tattoos done during my radiotherapy as a condition called Lymphoedema started to develop and it caused swelling. So my markers were out-of-place so they have to be 100% right as you have lymph nodes in your neck/ collar-bone that they can only treat through radiotherapy. My last couple of radiotherapy were the worst for me as the pain was excruciating. God, I ended up bawling on the table once and then again in the toilet. You see you have to lift your arms above your head for the treatment and near the end due to the swelling it was so darn hard to move my right arm the pain was excruciating painful. I had Radiotherapy for 6 weeks and God that knocked the stuffing out of me I wasn’t prepared for that at all I tell ya. I am now on Hormone therapy for 5 years called Tamoxifen, this works by blocking the uptake of oestrogen by the receptor on cancer cells. I also had Physiotherapy as cording developed in my right arm. Only way I can describe it is to think of telephone lines so tight there’s no give in it, we’ll that’s how the muscle in your arm goes from top to bottom. It’s dead tight so if you go to do something you can’t all you get is pain and pain!! Now I’m having Physiotherapy for Lymphoedema that developed in my right arm after radiotherapy so I have to wear garments on my hand & arm for life. I can’t afford to get any cuts on that arm or hand or I may get infections. I have to make sure my skin is clean, dry & moisturised and always avoid sunburn or bites. Well I think I have been to every part of Beaumont Hospital at this stage! In general the medical teams have been great. Ok as you can see I tend to wonder off onto other subjects but it’s a Harrington habit so please excuse me but one thing that does really bother me and upsets me is this. After my mastectomy I came back to my ward, how wonderful to see my family around me which meant, yes I survived it phew! Ev, Ado, Rog and you Carmel. Nurses had to do 15mins ob’s on me so a nurse came into see me and before I knew it she pulled down my gown saying I need to check your wound. She didn’t give me time to prepare to see ‘ my wound!’ My wound? Oh you mean my wound oh where my breast used to be?!I often thought and still do think to this day, if you have facial surgery, when they are going to take off the bandages, they prepare the patient first. They tell them what to expect. They just don’t whip of facial bandages and say we’re just going to check your wounds! Also I wouldn’t get out of the bed as I was just so self-conscious that I was one breast short and I was in a general ward too. I knew my Prof wasn’t happy that I was still in bed but no one asked me why! And my answer would have been so simple.”

I also asked Leah what side effects did she experience?

“Wow Carmel you honestly want to know? Well in my case, anything and everything that you could get well I did get it, sure one of the docs told me ‘. Leah the day you don’t get something wrong is the day to start we’ll start worrying about you’. Funny guy!

I experienced, Nausea and vomiting, Ants in your pants it’s from one of the injections they give you for A/C chemo, Metal taste in mouth, Numbness in my feet and hands, Face bloated, Tiredness bone tired fatigue, Soreness, Hair loss, Eyebrow & Eyelash loss, Pain but pain that hits the every core of you, Tenderness, Memory loss chemo brain, Veins collapsing, Mouth ulcers like craters, Fear and worry would that the darn transfusion would say in your arm for your chemotherapy and for getting bloods too. And the Menopause just for that extra kick in the arse because really I haven’t suffered enough you know! I get hot flushes more like streams in my case, night sweats, fatigue (again) mood changes and often poor concentration levels at times. Bingo after 5 years of this I still can get the ‘normal menopause’. I firmly believe that God really must have been a man! Oh the smells of some foods really turned my stomach especially frozen food. One tip they give you is to freeze your meals during chemo so you don’t have to cook plus you just can’t. To this day I can’t defrost foods the smell just brings me right back to that time and I vomit. I also have Insomnia; every bone in my body hurts like I have been run over by a bulldozer, Infections, infections, infections! I have skin changes from radiotherapy; it looks like I have gotten sun burnt. It takes 10 years for your skin inside to heal after radiotherapy. Infertility. My temperature monitor was my best friend as my temperature couldn’t go beyond 38c. If it did, I had to ring the hospital. If day oncology ward was closed there was another ward you could ring they would contact the doctor on call with your complaints and advice you. Sometimes I ended up going in through A&E but it was a great service as there was always somebody there which was comforting.”

It’s been so hard physically on your body Leah, talk to me about how you are doing now.

“I’m slowly but surely getting there Carmel, as you know I have a few other medical things going. I now have a lifelong friend called Lymphoedema in my right arm, and I have to wear hand and arm garments full-time now, but I bling them up with cuffs. I am now back to physiotherapy to see if they can help me anymore as my nerves are slowly coming back so it feels like I have been stabbed with a knife by times, not the nicest of things but in all honestly there’s nothing nice about breast cancer expect for the people you met and your family/ friends support. I also have psrostic arthritis and psoriasis. Chemotherapy cleared me of my psoriasis initially, yippee, but then afterwards it came back with vengeance!! I had a Body/bone scan done recently and on my 40th birthday found out that I don’t have Metastasis bone cancer! But I did find out on the same day that I have to get a hip replacement done urgently as the chemotherapy accelerated my PA arthritis so I have no cartilage left. I also found out I will need knee replacement(s). I am going to have reconstruction and reduction surgery done in two years or more but to be honest I am still extremely sore and in pain an awful lot of the time but I’m grand sure it could be a lot worse.”

I asked Leah if she had any tips for us, something she wished someone had told her at the beginning of this journey.

“That you will have no control over your own life during that period as you have to get treatment, you have to go to the hospital, you have to take medications there’s nothing you can do about that. But each appointment you make it a personal achievement for you on that day always remember that! And then there are simple tips like after your mastectomy when having a shower wear an old necklace and pin your drips onto it. Obviously don’t put the pin through it but loop it around it. That way you can shower and your drips won’t fall out. Also very handy when walking as your drips don’t swing as you walk. For me I sleep on my side never on my back but after a mastectomy you can only lie on your back. It took me over a year to be able to lie on my side again! When getting A/C chemo have a mint in your mouth with water. Why? Having some of those injections it really does help with that awful taste.”

And so, this brings us to the end of Leah’s story. I would like to thank Leah for the considerable time she put into this interview and for her honesty, humour and openness. I know that this is only one part of Leah’s story and that while 2013 has some more medical challenges for Leah to face, every day she is getting stronger and stronger. And I have no doubt that the hopes and dreams she shared with us will one day come true. Her prince charming is just around the corner, of that I am sure. And if you were paying attention, you will remember that one of those dreams for Leah was that she would love to one day get a dog. Well I am so happy to share that Leah said ‘Hello Dolly’ to her new dog Dolly last week. You see Leah, wishes really do come true!

I’m going to leave you with a couple of pictures of a beautiful and radiant Leah taken at her 40th Birthday Party earlier this month. Her family and friends were all by her side celebrating what a truly fabulous girl she is and we partied long and hard until the sun rose!