I saw a Disney joke on facebook the other day, lamenting that being a parent is a bit like being a pirate.
Hmmm….. well actually now that you mention it, let’s just take a look at each point!
Picture courtesy of Disney Junior
Swab The Deck!
Yesterday as Mr H peeked through the mountains of laundry that he drew the short straw of tackling, I took stock of our living room. The windows, the TV screen (worrying) and the floor were all showing signs of a toddler invasion of at least 1000 pairs of sticky hands. In reality, there’s only two in our house – Amelia and Nate, but boy can they do some serious damage!
So there was only one thing for it, time for the big guns. I pulled out the steam cleaner and two hours later, there wasn’t a window or surface that wasn’t blasted with the hot steam. And my living room was gleaming. The sense of satisfaction was overwhelming, so I went to find Mr H to get him to come admire my handiwork.
Before I even had a chance to wipe the sweat from my brow and start boasting, I heard the following words.
‘Natey did it!’ This from Amelia
‘Millie bold!’ This from Nate.
Whenever those words are uttered I know that there’s trouble afoot. So I walked back into my sitting room and found a pool of juice invading my glistening floor with lumps of brioche bread swimming in it for their dear life.
I mean come on! I didn’t even get 10 minutes out of my hard work. ARRR!
Searching for Treasure!
Every day and I mean every day, Nate & Amelia’s shoes go missing. I make a huge effort to take them from their feet and place in their wardrobes once they come inside, indeed efforts are make to direct them to do the same themselves. But inadvertently every morning as I get them ready for playschool, foot wear is missing. Rogue runners have been found in the washing machine, dishwasher, my bed, the back garden, kitchen cupboards, laundry basket, toy chest….. yes…… pretty much anywhere is fair game.
Now, I could talk about socks next, but I don’t think missing socks is purely an affliction for mothers. When I was a young slip of a single wan’ my socks were forever feckin off on me, to some strange sock land where all the cool socks go. Now that there are 4 sets of feet in our house, there is a party of mahoosive proportions ongoing it appears in that sock land. I wish that they’d let me know where it’s on though, so I could gatecrash the odd time.
Both my children love a good mystery and drama. So every day Amelia and Nate seem to take great delight in tormenting Mr H & me by hiding their special bedtime toys. Amelia has a teddy, called ‘Mama’s Teddy’ that simply goes everywhere with her. And Nate has Woody aka the coolest sheriff in town that has become his must have toy too. Somehow or other every night at around 6 pm when I start rounding up the bedtime toys and putting smallies into their PJ’s, the toys are nowhere to be found. So the hunt begins. Usually found in the same places mentioned for missing footwear. At least my children are consistent!
Now as for my missing reading glasses, phone, car keys… ok, perhaps that’s all me!
This one is something you have no concept of until you have children. Before my two smallies came along, I used to look in amazement at the bags and baggage that my nieces/nephews/friendskids would bring with them when they came to stay. Normally as the cars would be unburdened of it’s heavy load of bags by the giddy parents who were about to scarper off leaving their loved ones in my care, I would joke….
‘Are they coming for a week or just the weekend?’
Now, with children of my own, I understand. A simple trip to the shops needs half a boot full! Nappy Bag – Check! Snack Bag – Check! Juice – Check! Favourite Toys – Check! Change of Clothes for the likely event of juice being squeezed all over oneself for the craic! – Check! Buggy – Check! Children! – Check! Now where’s my feckin’ car keys?
Now you can imagine if you are heading somewhere overnight? Right?
See each point in this post. Nuff’ said.
Every day is a new adventure
Oh jeepers yes! I travelled the world in my single days – I’ve done parachute jumps, I’ve flown across South Africa in a small private jet aircraft, I’ve partied with U2, I’ve survived an earthquake in the Philippines, just a few headlines to illustrate my point that I’ve had a lot of adventures in my day! But can any of them compare to the adventure that Mr H and I are on now that we have our family? Not a chance.
Every day is a new day, every day is a blessing, every day is a joy, every day is an honour, every day we am showered with so much love from the children we have been given, that literally sustains our very being and makes the sleepless nights and messy houses vanish.
AAARRR, nope I take it all back. It’s all AAAWWW isn’t it?